vind ik leuk / i like THAT*

DISTRACTED BOYFRIEND* | LITERAL VIDEOS |

 

DISTRACTIONS

A while back, the Distracted Boyfriend meme was everywhere. For those of you who don’t spend their days scrolling aimlessly online like I do: this particular meme is a stockphoto of a guy checking out a girl who walks by, with his perplexed girlfriend (or so we presume) looking at him like he’s going to spend the night on the couch (or in a grave). The meme sparked a lot of creativity, ranging from this to this to even stuff like this

I make use of stock images a fair bit – for my blog, but for my other work as well – and I love, looove this category of staged stockphotos. I’ve become quite familiar with certain scenes, and it’s not uncommon for me to recognize pictures or models in completely different contexts. I once saw a whole row of happy (and very ethnically diverse) faces on a partition wall around a construction site, that I recognized from an editing app in which those same faces were used to show the app’s teeth-whitening and acne smooth-over tricks. And just look at these joyful (and very non-sweaty) gals who apparently have quite the flexible gym membership, judging by the amount of Dutch gym ads they’re in –yoga’ing in Utrecht, highfiving in a town called Heelsum and being… I guess just being present in school

(Or wearing earplugs in Russia.) 

Sometimes you can't help but wonder what the hell the photographer was thinking. Like, “there must be customers out there who are looking for a picture of a woman who’s fed up by/while wearing big orange eye shadow” – when did that idea cross your mind? I usually try and look for the answer in the tag they’ve attributed to the photos, but most of the time, those make it more confusing. ("Adult.")  

Here are a few of my favorites and the tags that come along with:

Adult. Dark hair.Leisure. Indoors. Face. Outdoors. Oops.Teamwork.Vegetarian.

When I find that a big company has used one of those free stockphotos for their own marketing, it always feels like I’ve caught them in the act. Although they’re allowed to use free images, of course, to me it always reeks of cheapskates when an organization doesn’t even want to spend a couple of bucks on a well-made picture shot by a professional. And, naturally, I can't help but wonder what their search words were. Teamspirit? Facial expression? Teeth?

But I’m drifting off

The Distracted Boyfriend meme seemed to die out and then, suddenly, it appeared again. Someone had discovered an “intense backstory” to the whole ordeal. This year-old article that I just recently stumbled upon, explains all: OH NO GIRL THAT'S BAD NEWS

And then, of course, there’s also this.

The video for the song Drugs by Ratatat (2010) is compiled completely by stock footage from Getty Images, and it’s horrorlike quality reminds me a lot of Blackhole Sun (Soundgarden, 1994). See for yourself. Me, I like. 

 

PS. Guess who I ran into when visiting Ibis’ site to make my point? Tadaa!
OMG, they look so excited. LITTLE DID SHE KNOW.

(To be fair, the Distracted Boyfriend and all spin-offs are paid-for pictures. Not trying to diss a hotel chain or anything.)

 

BERTRAND

Elke keer als ik Plastic Bertrand op de radio voorbij hoor komen, zoals nu, denk ik terug aan die keer dat ik in een karaokebar in Japan bezield, ietwat bedwelmd en volledig fonetisch Ca plane pour moi stond mee te blèren, na even daarvoor Eisbär te hebben gezongen en andere Vitamine ACU-hits, waarbij ik inmiddels door de voltallige bar volledig werd genegeerd (mijn kaping van het karaokeapparaat kan daar iets mee te maken hebben gehad), met uitzondering van één Amerikaanse toeriste die met oprechte bewondering naar me toekwam en zei: “Wow! You’re fluent in a LOT of languages, aren’t you”, en ik zonder ook maar een moment te twijfelen antwoordde met: “Ja.”

Wat ik óók deed:

Penny Lane aanvragen en de tekst van de literal video meezingen. Dat vond echt alleen ik leuk. Onterecht, want de video is geniaal. Literal video's zijn videoclips die opnieuw zijn ingezongen met een songtekst die beschrijft wat er in de videoclip gebeurt. Penny Lane is mijn favoriet (Don't get trampled, John), Bonnie Tyler is runner-up. Enjoy. 

 

Edit: Eens in de zoveel tijd duikt de literal version van Penny Lane ergens op, om vervolgens weer van het internet te verdwijnen. Zodra hij weer online is plaats ik 'm hier, tot die tijd moet je het doen met Bonnie. 

 


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